The Summer of My "Discontent"

While technically summer isn't over for another 3 or so weeks, in my life it ended last week. Nathan, who headed back to school August 8th, started his sophomore year at Liberty University on Monday. Jeremy, now a Junior at Athens High School, started his classes on Tuesday. Our new neighbors in the college rentals one both sides of our house are now in residence which is an indication that fall has arrived.

As I look back on this past June-August I realize that while many things were accomplished, it was not the restful and idyllic summer that I felt we should have when we don't spend it moving to a new military assignment.
--Some of this comes from the new dynamic in our family. We have a college student who doesn't feel that this house is his home. I understand why he feels this way, we moved here 6 weeks before he left for college. He has no connections to this town and was not thrilled to be "stuck here" for 10 weeks. (Fortunately, he got a job working at a boy scout summer camp and was only around for about a month--of course this was in May while his brother and father still were in/teaching school)
--There were no family vacations or day trips together. Our time together after school got out was limited to the short time on Saturdays that Nathan was home between camp sessions, and only when everyone was here. In fact this was a summer of separate travel. Jeremy went to three boy scout camps. Two of them were"once in a lifetime" camps: Sea Base in the Bahamas and the National Jamboree at Fort A P Hill in Virginia which was celebrating 100 years of scouting. In total he was gone for a little over 4 weeks. Alex was gone almost 6 weeks (he just returned last night) TDY to Maxwell AFB to work at Air Force ROTC field training camp Max 6.
--Two weeks were spent with painters here at the house to repaint the exterior (so worth paying to have professionals do it, due to the previous owner's neglect with upkeep on the house) but we didn't get the landscaping for the front done as we had hoped.
--I was too busy; or too tired; or too depressed; to work on any special projects and spent way too much time on Facebook as an escape.

One thing that did come out of this "summer of discontent" was a persistent feeling of guilt that I should be doing something more. Specifically, that I shouldn't be wasting the opportunity of the "free tuition"(I still have to pay general fees and books) that is available at Ohio University because of Alex having the status of "visiting professor". So I did a lot of praying....and some contemplating. Alex brought me a contact number for Academic Advising before he left for Alabama, and I made an appointment to just talk about my options. I saw the academic advisor and took some assessment tests for careers and majors this past week. Today I applied for non-degree seeking admission for this fall....and if all goes well I will once again be a university student next Tuesday.

A Year Off (and On)

One of the nice things about the military moving us every three or so years, is the opportunity to essentially "wipe the slate clean" when it comes to activities and obligations and re-evaluate what we want to invest our time and energy in. One year ago today we arrived in Athens, OH and I have been reflecting on those activities that have fallen by the wayside and those that continue to be a part of our lives.

This move was a big transition in that Nathan left for college shortly after we arrived and Jeremy had made the decision to go to public high school. I had decided to give myself 6 months to listen to God and see what he would have me do. (I could get a part time job, go back to school tuition free, or continue to be a stay at home wife/mom and volunteer) At the 6 month point I still didn't have clear answers only that I still needed to wait--not my favorite thing to do!

Now at the one year point I've gotten some answers, but not a clear picture. I hope that by looking at what activities have fallen by the wayside, and what have continued, will help me hear God's plans for the next two years...

So here's what's gone off the plate:

Scrapbooking and Quilting: I was suprised by this. I have had no motivation to do either. I thought with all the free time I would have after unpacking that it would be the perfect opportunity to catch up on both. I had purchased a few quilt tops to make and have LOTS of scrapbook pages to do. I have done none of it. In November I quit selling Creative Memories after doing so for 11 years. However, after a year off, I have joined a group of women who make quilt blocks every month. We'll see what happens with the scrapbooking...

Travel to visit National Parks and Monuments and to explore the area: A disappointment, but this was forshadowed by out time in MT. The boys aren't as interested as they were when they were younger. Nathan's not here. Alex's job consumes many hours of the week. He's either busy with work or just wants to be at home on the weekends.

Looking for a Part-time Job: The economy here is not good. There are a lot of people who NEED a job. I don't. I feel blessed that Alex can provide for us in such a way that my working is not necessary.

Here's what's stayed:

Church involvement: Always a given in our family. I've been in 2 small groups and help and/or participated in various activities. I also help get Jeremy to and from Youth Group activities.

Volunteering: It's different every place we live. Helping out at the food pantry is the ONLY thing I knew I should be doing at the 6 month point. I'm also shelving books at the library and just finished helping with VBS.

Boy Scouts: Okay...so I don't do alot with scouts, but the guys' participation does affect me. I've helped with the football stadium clean up, been the back up driver and made a few trips to the scout store in Parkersburg.

And here's something new:

Marching Band: Jeremy decided this spring that he wanted to participate in Band. He's learning to play the tuba and sousaphone. The band has a parent booster club so the next two years will be filled with band events.

Still nagging in the back of my mind: Should I go back to school?

A preview of the empty nest...

Both boys have been away at scout camp this week. Nathan is on staff at Camp Kootauga and Jeremy is at Camp Chief Logan, where we went to visit him on Wednesday night and see him get tapped out for Order of the Arrow :-) Alex usually goes to scout camp as an adult leader, but this summer work commitments didn't allow that to happen. So instead Alex and I got to experience what life will be like in a short 26 months when Jeremy graduates from highschool.

I have to say that I LIKE IT! The house is CLEAN and QUIET. I love my boys, but they are messy and loud. (And yes there will still be one messy 'guy' at home, but I don't mind picking up after him). However, what has been the most enjoyable thing is the extended "adult time" with Alex. We've always had a bedtime for the boys so that Alex and I could have some time to connect as a couple each evening. We have dessert, or watch a tv show or movie that is inappropriate for children, and lots of times just be together in the same room. As the boys have gotten older this time has shrunk from 3 hours to sometimes less than 30 minutes each evening. At this stage in their lives they are suppose to be upstairs in their rooms at 9pm, but seems to extend itself to 9:30 and 10:00 many nights. Alex's goal is to be in bed before 10:30pm so in a best case scenerio we get a little over an hour together each night. This week, even with my volunteering at VBS in the evenings, we've at least gotten our hour plus of time each night.

I like that we haven't had to consider activity schedules this week. Don't get me wrong, I love that my boys participate(d) in scouts, sports, youth group, and now marching band. I love actively supporting them by being there at games, being adult leadership etc. but my calander squares have been bursting with color coded activities and times over the last 12 or so years. I'm looking forward to having more activities of Alex's and my choosing.

However, maybe most of all I like that I'm feeling a sense of accomplishment. Our goal as parents was to raise them to be godly young men able to go out and support themselves and be productive members of society. We are watching this come to fruition. We are seeing that our labor IS beginning to produce "Good Fruit". I will savor the next 26 months, but I'm looking forward to our empty nest.

Remembering my Mom

Today is Mother's Day and it's also my mom's birthday. She would have been 68 today. This is my 3rd Mother's Day without her, and I miss her, so I thought I would write about some of the great memories I have of growing up under her influence.

My mom came from a lower class background with two alcoholic parents. One story she told about growing up was of how she would to go to the tavern to ask her parents for money to get something to eat. Sometimes she would buy herself a big ice cream cone for dinner. Her sister, Peggy, was 9 years older and moved in with their grandparents when she was 16. My mom and her mother did the same when she was 11 and her mother was diagnosed with cancer. Mom always thought it was neat that she, her mother, and her sister all graduated from Lincoln Highschool from the same address. She shared how after her mom died that she thought her grandparents were unfair because they wouldn't let her run all around the neighborhood to play--until she realized it was because they loved her enough to care about where she was and what she was doing. When I think about how my mom grew up, I am amazed at the adult she became.

My mom was kind to everyone--almost to a fault. She talked to complete strangers as if they were good friends. (That embarrassed me as a teen) She loved to volunteer at our elementary school and even worked part time as the playground and lunchroom lady. One summer when I was around 10, she pursuaded my dad to host international highschool students from Japan for a weekend through a program at the University of Washington. The object of the weekend was so that the students could experience life with an american family. This led to several years of involvement with international graduate students and helping them experience american life outside of the university. It also led to some great travel experiences for her.

She loved Red Rose Tea and we would drink it from china cups and saucers when I was little. She loved musicals and classic movies and shared those enjoyments with me. I remember checking out books from the library as a pre-teen and she would read them too. She would tell my sister and I about her highschool friends--how the girls were all in Rainbow and the boys were in DeMolay and the fun things they did. When she found out that Rainbow Girls were still around she asked me if I'd like to join. I did, and when my sister was old enough she did too. It was fun being a part of something that she enjoyed as a teen.

There were some not so good things about my mom as well. Her health was not the best. She was sick a lot with female issues, and headaches. In the late 1990's she showed signs of early onset Althziemers. She was officially diagnosed is the summer of 2002. It was a hard 5 years watching her decline. Yet it wasn't until the last few months of her life that she lost her sweet spirit. I remember our last good visit, which just happened to be Mother's Day weekend 2007. My dad had taken her to the wedding of two of her highschool friends that Saturday afternoon. On Sunday we were talking to my dad about the wedding and my mom said "Who's Wedding? Why wasn't I there?" We told her that she had been there, and that she'd had a very nice time. She smiled and said "Good, I'm glad."

I could write about lots of other things, and maybe later I will. But for now, through my tears, I just want to say Happy Birthday Mom, and Happy Mother's Day. I love you, and I miss you.

But, I Love You: Things Alex and I give each other cr@p about.

Alex and I have a give and take relationship in that we give and take a lot teasing/cr@p about things in our marriage. (This entry will probably have more added to it as thing come up)

I chose today to write about this because it is the last day of an annual 26 days razzing.

26 Days of Old: I am 1 year and 26 days older than Alex, so for the 26 days between April 3 and April 29 Alex loves to "remind me" that numbers wise I am TWO YEARS OLDER than he is. He takes such joy in pointing this out to me and anyone else who happens to be around when the subject comes up. "But I still love you" he says :-)

Did I Lie to You? (Also known as the Great Rest Stop Debate): July 2006 we are moving cross country from the DC area to Great Falls, MT. I am driving the sedan and Alex is driving a small U-Haul truck with a car trailer attached that is towing our 1992 Ford Taurus Stationwagon (affectionately known as "the blue bomber") Unfortunately due to time constraints and towing with a U-Haul we could not make this as much of a "moving vacation" as I had desired. I had wanted to visit a few National Parks and Historic Sites along the way and Alex had wanted to visit Camp Perry. We did manage to stop at The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota (a story for another entry) but other than that we were driving to Montana and only stopping when neccessary--no National Parks, no "outdoor supply stores".

Day four we are leaving Bismark, ND heading west on I-94. Shortly after a gas stop we come up on a rest area (which just also happens to be a visitors center for Theodore Rosevelt National Park). I am ahead of the U-haul and radio to tell Alex I need to stop. I take my National Parks Passport Book and go into the visitors center to get it stamped. Then I make everyone have their picture taken at the view point and the National Park Sign. Finally I go and use the restroom. Alex says I lied to him. I say I didn't. I said "I need to stop"--just because he assumed it was for a restroom does not mean I lied.

I only dated you because I didn't want to hurt your feelings: We are at an evening fellowship potluck for our adult sunday school class at Calvary Baptist in Woodbridge VA. We've been married about 18 years. We are sharing about how we met and became couples. I make a comment about when Alex asked if he could be my boyfriend I said yes because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I thought that I had told Alex YEARS AGO that had been my initial thought when he had asked that question. Apparently, I was wrong.

Take a Date

In our marriage small group we are using "20 Surprisingly Simple Rules and Tools for a Great Marriage". Each couple has chosen chapters to lead. Thursday night Alex and I led the chapter 'Take a Date'.

The background for us and dating as a married couple, is that for many years I saw dating as an entertainment venue and not an investment in our marriage. I had felt that many times the money we spent for the evening could have go to much better things. When I changed my perspective, I began to really enjoy my outings with Alex.

Most of our dates occur on Saturday morning. We go out to breakfast together. We do other things too, but Saturday morning is our weekly scheduled date.

Last Saturday Alex took me to the County Landfill....You may laugh, but it was fun and sentimental for me. The landfill is only open from 8am to noon on Saturdays and we had a bunch of concrete in our back yard that needed to be hauled away. Alex did the first load without me and then I joined him for the second load. We threw the concrete into the back of the truck and drove the 13+ miles to the landfill. On our way we stopped for breakfast at The Coffee Cup. We had our usual good time of conversation and food. When we got to the landfill we unloaded all the concrete and joked about what a romantic date we were having. Alex had a camera in the car, so he snapped a picture of us and one of me on the tailgate of the truck viewing the lovely landfill. It was really quite fun.

Now why would going to the dump be sentimental? It's because my parents used to do the same thing. My mom would joke that dad was taking her on a romantic date to the dump. I don't know if they had breakfast before or afterwards, but I do know my sister and I were never invited...

Today we were back at our "regular place" The Court Street Diner. Breakfast was good, but not quite as much fun as last week. However, there's a bunch of tree branches in the back yard that need to be hauled away....

So who am I? A little background....

I was born in Washington State and lived in the same house on the outskirts of Seattle from the age of 2 until I got married. It was a great neighborhood to grow up in. I knew every neighbor and there were lots of kids to hang out with. My dad still lives there...

I had friends that I started Kindergarten with and we graduated from high school together. Our little core group of Brookside friends joined up with some Horizon friends in advanced placement classes in middle school and we kept ourselves entertained with our own sense of humor. We were the geeks/nerds of the smart set.

Having spent my entire life in one state, I wanted to go AWAY to college. I spent my freshman year at a small Lutheran college in Minnesota, that unbeknownst to me, was the party school of all the regional Lutheran colleges. I learned how to party...and also learned that I didn't like being so far away. At the end of the year I transferred back to a Washington State school--CWU which was known in the state for its teaching program.

At CWU, even though I wasn't looking for love, Alex found me within the first few weeks and knew I was the one he was going to marry. (I didn't figure that out that he was the one for another year or so...) Alex told me he was going to be an officer in the Air Force. My reponse to that was "Cool! I'll see the world" (and that was one of God's jokes on me--we've never had an overseas tour) We got married in Sept 1987 just before Alex's first (and my second) senior year.

Twenty-two years, two kids, and ten moves later we're still together :-)

The Half-way Point? in Life's Journey

So, I turned 45 two weeks ago....

A good friend from high school sent me a card and commented inside that 45 is half way between 20 and 70. This made me nostalgic, AND it's made me think more about life--the good stuff that's happened and what still lies ahead.

In our marriage small group last week, it was suggested that I needed to write the stories from my life so they could be shared with others. Why others would be interested? I don't know. But I feel the Spirit of God prompting me to do so...so I will.

My intent is to write about things that have made an impact on me in small and big ways. Stuff that might be interesting to my boys about how I grew up and what memories "pop into my head" years later. I also want to share those "God Moments" when I see His hand clearly working in my life. So this Blog will be a place for me to remember the days of my youth and chronical some of what is going on now....