Marking the Days

We dropped Jeremy off at OU for the spring semester 5 weeks ago. It was a hard weekend for me, as I was reminded that Athens, OH is where I want to be, but not where I am.  While we were there, we went to church at Central Ave.  Paul's message was about learning to "be" in the moment/place that you are rather than focusing on what's ahead.  Very convicting for me as I count the months to move back to Ohio from Alabama.

In the past 3 weeks this concept has become even more difficult for me strive for.  Upon returning to Alabama, I found out that my dad had a reaction to an epidural shot for back pain and was overwhelmed to the point of anxiety attacks with caring for himself.  Ten days later I was on a plane to Seattle for an undetermined amount of time.  My dad had already made the decision that he wanted to move to an independent living retirement home closer to my sister in Olympia by the end of the summer.  My dad, my sister and I made the decision that he should move as quickly as possible. Dad starts renting his new apartment on March 15th. In the meantime, dad is recovering from his allergic reaction, still dealing with back pain, and dealing with moving from the house he has lived in since 1966.

Right now I am 'marking time'.  We are getting things ready for the move, but there is not a lot we can do for another 2-3 weeks.  My dad has no hobbies, few friends and is not open to doing anything new. He doesn't like to read or play any game other than cribbage (and that is too mentally taxing right now) Our time is spent walking when the weather allows, and watching tv which he finds boring, (but he is not open to watching anything different than what he regularly watches). This is a very frustrating situation for me.  I am unable to do the things I would do to keep busy, because they are not things that he wants to do.  I find myself just wishing for the days to quickly pass so I can go home to my own life.  Totally opposite of trying to be content in the place that you are.  The gray of the Seattle winter makes it worse, as it is brutal for my SAD.

So for now, I am not sure how to "be" in place that is not really a mentally healthy place to be.  However, I do know that I have strength to endure because of my faith in Christ.  He will not leave me or forsake me.  He tells me not to be anxious for anything, and He tells me that my love for Him and others will be enough to make it through each day.  I am clinging to these promises.